he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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