Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
