your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
