So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
