i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dick very happy bro
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
