i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
