took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
