I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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