I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
