He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm really busy with my period
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