She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
