why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
