If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
