my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
