so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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