i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
