the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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