i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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