Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
