The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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