I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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