it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dignity is for republicans.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
