idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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