Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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