I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
