i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
