We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
