So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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