I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
