I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
