i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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