Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
