I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
