So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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