And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
