Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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