I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
