His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
