Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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