I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
