At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
