Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Life is so much better after having sex.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
