So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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