I think I died a long time ago.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
