uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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