I wish I could teleport
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
