it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
