I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
