i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
