whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
