Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
