The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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