Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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