is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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