how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
